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: I am the RaZoR and in the hands of your heart :
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|01:19 pm] |
it's so not fair that I have Sunday off but nobody wants to do anything :-(. I'll just sit home alone and write poems about death.
(This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator!) |
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| The Motivation in life |
[Mar. 7th, 2005|01:36 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Knuck if you buck (Grandma hoe) | ] |
"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES."
***
"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." -- Vince Lombardi
***
"The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost
***
"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it." -Winston Churchill |
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| i hate this week. |
[Feb. 26th, 2005|12:27 am] |
Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I don’t need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
So one more drink and I’ll move on.
***
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again.
So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart
***
Once again we sit in silence
After all is said and done
Only emptiness inside us
Baby, look what we've become
We can make a million promises
But we still won't change
It isn't right to stay together
When you only bring each other pain
I don't wanna cry - Don't wanna cry
Nothing in the world
Could take us back
To where we used to be
Though I've given you my heart and soul
I must find a way of letting go
'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry
Too far apart to bridge the distance
But something keeps us hanging on and on
Pretending not to know the difference
Denying what we had is gone
Every moment we're together is just breaking me down
I know we swore it was forever
But it hurts too much to stay around
All the magic's gone
There's just a shadow of a memory
Something just went wrong
We can't go on make-believing
***
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
***
Baby Britain feels the best floating over a sea of vodka
Separated from the rest
Fights problems with bigger problems
Sees the ocean fall and rise
Counts the waves that somehow didn’t hit her
Water pouring from her eyes
Alcoholic and very bitter
For someone half as smart you’d be a work of art
You put yourself apart
And I can’t help until you start |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|12:58 pm] |
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"Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect, but they are always perfect for you." |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|12:56 pm] |
Hmm...so it has been a while since I have updated. I am real lazy to NOT conform. so, yeah, I'm just gunna try out the "+/-" thing. Deal with it.
+ it's Thursday...meaning I am done with classes
- I am sitting in study hall..just talking online...being bored.
+ Easy pratice today
- practice today
+ Erica is coming to pratice with me today. YAY!!!
+ I get to run in the NCAA Division II challenge - a huge competition this weekend
- It's in Ohio...blah.
+ Kyle Taylor
+ Troy Howley
+ All my friends and teammates
- Working on Sunday.
+ I don't have to close - so that means...SUPERBOWL time!!!!
- Missin all my friends last weekend
+ Moving on campus next year with Courtney, Becca, and Jenny P. :)
+ I have good grades right now after my first tests/projects/presentations.
- I have soooooooo much work in my classes
- I'm too lazy to think of more updates.
+ It's the end of my update now.
Love ya'll. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|11:17 pm] |
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|02:04 pm] |
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"Let us start, for both our wills, joined now, are one.
You are my guide, you are my Lord and teacher."
These were my words to Him and, when he moved,
I entered on that deep and rugged road.
And this is what I saw: I found myself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley that collets the thunderings of endless cries.
"For this defect, and for no other guilt,
we here are lost. In this alone we suffer:
cut off from hope, we live on desire."
I AM THE WAY INTO THE DOLEFUL CITY,
I AM THE WAY INTO ETERNAL GRIEF,
I AM THE WAY TO A FORSAKEN RACE.
JUSTICE IT WAS THAT MOVED MY GREAT CREATOR;
DIVINE OMNIPOTENCE CREATED ME,
AND HIGHEST WISDOM JOINED WITH PRIMAL LOVE.
BEFORE ME NOTHING BUT ETERNAL THINGS
WERE MADE, AND I SHALL LAST ETERNALLY.
ABANDON EVERY HOPE, ALL YOU WHO ENTER.
The first person to tell me where these lines are from....gets a prize. I'm serious.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|04:53 pm] |
This is an excerpt from a book I'm reading...called The Case for Faith:
I jumped in. "Wait a minute - a moment ago you admitted that 'something counts against God' - that evil and suffering ARE evidene against him," I pointed out. "Aren't you conceding, therefore, that evil disproves God's existence?" I thumped my hand on his desk. "Case closed!" I declared with a mock air of truimph.
Kreeft recoiled a bit at my outburst. "no, no," he insisted, shaking his head. "first of all, evidence is not necessarily certain or conclusive. I'm saying in this world there is evidence against and evidence for God. Augustine put it very simply: 'If there is no God, why is there so much good? If there is a God, why is there so much evil?'
"There's no question that the existence of evil is one argument against God - but in one of my books I summarize twenty arguments that point persuasively in the other direction, in favor of existence of God. Atheists must answer all twenty arguments; theists must answer one. However, each of us gets to cast a vote. Fatih is active; it demands a response. Unlike reason, which bows faithfully down to the evidence, faith is prejudiced."
That last word jumped out at me. "What do you mean, 'prejudiced'?"
"Suppose a policeman came into this room and said thaey just captured my wife in the act of murdering thriteen neighbors by chopping off their heads, and they have witnesses. I would laugh at him. I would say, 'No, this cannot be. You do not know her as I do.' He would say 'Where's your evidence?' I'd say, 'It's of a different kind than yours. But there is evidence that this could not be." So I'm prejudiced.
"However, my prejudice is a REASONABLE prejudice because based on the evidence I've gathered in my very real experience. So someone who knows God has evidence - and therefore prejudice based on that evidence - which someone who does not know God does not have."
ALSO: here's an awesome quote by C.S. Lewis:
"If the universe is so bad, how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator? In other words, the very presence of these ideas in our minds - that is, the idea of evil, thus of goodness and of God as the origin and standard of goodness - needs to be accounted for."
AND EVEN BETTER YET:
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
--C.S. Lewis
That's all... just some refletion. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2004|02:09 am] |
Funniest line of the night - at Kirkie'e:
Matt: "Amanda, do you knwo what 'dense' is?"
Amanda: "What? 'Dentist?'"
haha..wow..shes so adorable. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|01:12 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| | Ungrateful | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Jars of Clay : Worlds Apart | ] |
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
: To rid myself of all but love:
...To give and die...
To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves:
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tear of a world embracing every heartache
How can I be the one to sacrifice?
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow...
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe... ...are worlds apart
And I pray,
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, and I pray, and I pray
Take my world apart
Worlds Apart.
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| vehicular accidentos |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|02:03 am] |
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Okay...so maybe God likes to use drastic car accidents to make you realize how much you love your friends....but I don't like it very much at all.
Just for anyone out there reading this: I LOVE YOU. BE SAFE BECAUSE THERE ARE STUPID DRIVERS OUT THERE AT ALL TIMES. ALSO...KNOW THAT I CARE FOR YOU.
Manda, Emily, Nikki, Eirby, Britt, Marxy, and Sweetie...I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOUR FRIENDSHIPS!
okay..so..sorry to make this a shout-out post...and not that I love them anymore than I love you, but an accident took place on I-75 southbound today at about 3:30ish (right after the Frankenmuth/Birch Run exit..mile marker 143 to be specific)... no one was seriosuly injured.. but lets just say it involved two teenage IDIOT drivers who nailed Amanda's car at 75 mph... sending it into spins and right over the egde of the highway.... so they deserve shout-outs - especially Manda and Em because they got the most beat up :(
keep those dear to you in your prayers..always.. even if they think they're "doin good"...
heart.ash. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|01:05 am] |
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Hmm...so..
IM DONE WITH FINALS!
Well...I was actually done on Tuesday..but it finally feels like I'm done with school. I'd have to say I have never stressed about school that much before in such a short time period. I sort of feel like I don't ever want to look at another book again. But oh well.. the 10th seems to be getting closer and closer every day. (maybe because it is...)
My girlies and boys are home and I have basically been hanging out with them lately..and let me tell you..it is some good stuff. Wednesday night Emily Hollister, Em, and Manda came over and we talked for a good while then ran over to Kirkie's to chat with everyone else. Then on Thursday Nikki, Manda, and Em visited me at work, and then we watched our "taped version" of the BEST OC EVER!!!!..where we were joined by the Lovely Lindsey Smith. We then proceeded to go to Joshie's where a bunch of us just chatted and caught up on our new lives. Friday was quite exciting -after work- at Kirkie's little low-key get-together, and we all just hung out there. Well..that is until we got extremely bored and went to Lindsey's to eat and talk with her mom. Today I went shopping with Nikki and her mom...DOLORES!! Afterwards I went to Flint with my dad and atteneded his annual work-place Christmas partay. I got $600 in Lowe's gift certificates, had prime rib and shrimp and garlic potatoes as my meal, and dessert was fabulous (chocolate cake that costs $13.00 a slice! and a cake that was one half white chocolate cake and one half raspberry cheescake...mmm) So it was well worth the drive. Then I went to Nikki Knocker's and we played DDR, and watched Talk Sex, Andrew and I fought, and then Nikki, Em, Eirby, Manda and myself played 1001 questions.
In this game.. you pose this vague question - and you're supposed to come up with random answers..and then the person who read the question - must guess who wrote the random answers. However..our answers were MORE than creative.. they were amazing. We basically just ripped into Amanda the entire time. My favorite joke was "What is the meanest thing you could say to someone?" and after we had answers such as "You're ugly", "Put those fingers away" and "that was 200 points ya dumba$$!"... we finished off with the grand finale of "Wow..you look like my friend Amanda."
This week should be exciting..although - it looks pretty packed. Monday: I have my test and then our girly xmas chinese auction, Tuesday: Shopping with Jesska and then we're (meaning the girls) goin to D-town to see the Rockettes, and Wednesday: TROY COMES HOME! and we're having dinner with my mom..haha...and then my friends and I are going to a "secret location" for a party.
After that.. I'm free!!!! hit me up if you wanna chill.
heart.ash. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2004|09:39 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | GUESS! | ] |
To see her own reflection was like squinting in the sun
And when all tomorrow brings-is a set of broken wings
Well it takes bites out of your insides
Till...you are just a hollow shell
gosh I love that song.
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| After the smoke clears.... |
[Dec. 5th, 2004|04:34 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Blaque : 808 | ] |
I wake up in the morning...Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me through another day
Doesn't really matter how I feel inside
This life's like a game sometimes
But then You came around me - the walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me and keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected - see how I've opened up
...You've made me trust...
Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked - around You
....Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide - I'm naked - around You
And it feels so nice.
I'm trying to remember why I was afraid to be myself...
And let the covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like You before
To help me, to help me fit in my skin
I never felt like this before
I'm naked - around You
...Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide - I'm naked - around You
And it feels so right
Hmmm...so you know those glorious days where you realize how much you've been hiding from God? Yup. Today was a day like that for me. Pastor Dan talked about Inner Peace at service today..and I was like "dang! I'm lacking in that department majorly and I've been crappy lately cuz I take it out on all the people I love in my life!" So I sorta prayed all day and I think all my stress about school, and track, and the future...is back in God's hands. I had a real nice conversation with my best friend today and it really made me feel as if I could be okay with where God leads me...no matter what that means for decisions in my life. I feel real broken right now.. but I needed to be in order to open up my eyes. I CAN'T do this on my own. I HAVE help whenever the frick I need it. I should start using my resources and know that everything is going to go according to plan anyways.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." -Jeremiah 29:11-12
I trust Him. I love remembering that fact. Please pray for me..that I listen to what God is trying to tell me.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." -Ephesians 3:20
i love you. heart.ash.
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| K-I-S-S me |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|11:35 am] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  cranky | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Jadakiss and Mariah : U Make Me Wanna | ] |
Now ur gone and I'm lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow
Come back...to me
Can you...feel me
Hear me...callin'
For you...'Cuz it's...
It's been too long and I'm lost without you
Hey...It's been forever since I gave ya'll a real update.
I have like a week and a half left of school. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That means two more classes and then some final exams. Yay. I have decent grades right now. Like all As and a B..but who knows what they'll look like after finals.
I'm still in track. It sucks. My first meet is next Friday and I'm not ready for it. I have to run the 60 hurldles, 200 dash, and 4 x 400 relay. Okay..so there are only two relays in track..right? And I was supposed to be on the "B" team..which consists of freshman and/or red shirts. However, my coaches though it'd be funny to make me run a time trial yesterday...and I ran a 63 and beat out a girl who's supposed to be on the "A" team....meaning I have to run on the A team for my first college meet with two seniors and a junior (including a two-time all-american) and I am scared to death. Like...you may think it's a good thing.. but there is so much pressure---and I'm gunan choke. ha. EEEK.
My body sucks. So..I'm anemic. I'm hypoglacemic. I have acid reflux disease. I have a vitamin B12 apsorbtion problem. And after that...I'm still nausous every mornin..so next friday - the day of my first meet I have to have an Upper GI tract at 8 in the morning. Which means they stick a camera down my throat. Eww. I hope I gag all over them. PLus...I'm nervous cuz I have ameet that day and I won't be able to eat or drink anything after 8 on Thursday night. That's no good. But oh well--at least my body may friggin get better.
My boyfriend is cool. Yeah..I'm still dating kyle. It was five months Wednesday. Weird. He's nice. He's attractive. He's athletic. I'm lucky. That's it.
My friends are sooooooooo freakin awesome. I love my teammates and my girls and my boys and I'm so excited for Xmas break cuz I miss ya'll a whole freakin lot.
That's an update for ya. If you read it...you're special. Maybe I'll give you a sucker. But you can't go back and read the rest of it now (if you didn't before) just because you'd get a sucker. That's a reward for really special people. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2004|06:41 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  accomplished | ] |
HAHAHHA. I'm seriously laughing out loud..This quiz thing asks you nothing about anything..and yet I'm still whore-ish. Frick. Sorry kyle. |
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| It's Update Time |
[Nov. 30th, 2004|08:48 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Aaliyah : Back anf Forth | ] |
So i guess that it's time to tell you guys what i did over thanksgiving...
I hung out with my girls and my friends. I ate turkey. I slept. I did some homework. I ran on my own..in the snowy cold...wow.
That's it.
The worst part of my vacation, however, was being proved wrong by Kyle and Troy. Ouch.
Also...I really miss you guys and I'd enjoy hearing how you guys are doing..personally. Email me and let me know how things are going : Copperliscious@msn.com
love ya'll!
heart.ash. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|10:36 pm] |
Gemini - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:
Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.
You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.
You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you.
Your negative traits:
You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.
You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.
Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems.
Your ideal partner:
Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.
Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.
An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship.
Your dating style:
Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy.
Your seduction style:
Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.
Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet.
Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing.
Tips for the future:
Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.
Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.
Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time.
Best place to meet someone online:
Match.com - enough sexy singles for you to find a new playmate when you get restless
Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow
Best day for a date: Wednesday
Get your free love profile at Blogthings.
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oh frick. I think I got a lot better from this "old" description of me...right? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|04:20 pm] |
Ben..stop reading my livejournal.
But yes.. I don't hate on Italians.
haha. |
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| hmmm |
[Nov. 19th, 2004|03:31 pm] |
| [ | Bleeding Through My Veins |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | Bleeding Into My Ears |
| | Smashing Pumpkins : Rat in a Cage | ] |
You Are the Enthusiast |
7
You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life.
You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new.
Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy.
You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.
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